Claire’s 10 Best & Shadiest Burns, Ranked

Recently, Eric Stonestreet (Cameron Tucker) was on The Drew Barrymore Show and played a fun game where he had to say which former Modern Family costar was like “most likely” to do something on set, according to Looper. When asked who was most like their character, Stonestreet hilariously said Julie Bowen. “[Bowen’s] pretty energetic, on top of things…[A] taskmaster. Lovely.”

On Modern Family, Bowen nailed it as the zany control-freak who was constantly chasing around her three kids and husband. With so much on her plate, Claire spoke what was on her mind and didn’t care how it came off. Although most of her family members were quick-witted, Claire could be ruthless with her burns. She said it best herself, “If I say something that everybody else is thinking, does that make me a mean person?”

10/10 *In Response To Phil* “Oh, Something’s Gonna Happen Alright.”

In season1, Phil and Claire were on their way to Hawaii with their family for a vacation. The Hawaii episodes were some of the best Modern Family episodes because it got the family out of their comfort zone and into a new environment.

To pass the time, Claire told Phil that if something happened to her, she’d want him to remarry. Shockingly, Phil responded that he already had someone in mind. Because of his and the kids’ excitement over the possibility of his future wife, Claire became agitated. Sensing her anger, Phil tried covering up his mistake and said “Just so you know if something were to happen to me…” and before he could finish his sentence, Claire unleashed a threatening burn, implying if anyone was going to kill Phil, it would be her.

9/10 “Like, Like, Like, Like, Aah!”

In ‘Fears,’ Claire drove Haley and a friend home one day. As the driver, it was impossible not to overhear Haley’s conversation or chip in. After hearing her daughter say one too many likes, Claire snapped.

Every time Haley said “like” in the middle of a sentence, Claire said like. This went on for a while until both women screamed at each other. The beauty of Claire’s burns was that they were, at times, unexpected — like this scene. While Haley couldn’t stand her mom at times, she was one of the more likable Modern Family characters.

8/10 “None Of You Believed Me, So I Got Proof. You Should All Be Sucking It Right Now.”

As perfect as Claire and Phil’s relationship was, they had their low moments. One hilarious moment was when Phil was distracted by a beautiful woman in the grocery store and accidently pushed Claire into a pyramid of cans while he talked to the woman.

Phil didn’t think he did anything wrong, so Claire went out of her way to get a copy of the security footage to prove to Phil and her entire family that he was in the wrong and that she was not being as dramatic as everyone said she was. In a blind rage, Claire told her entire family to “suck it” as she proved her point. Hilariously, her burns only made her family more concerned for her need to be right than anything else.

7/10 *In Response To Phil* “No, No You Can’t Mario!”

Claire was a likable character on Modern Family, mainly because she was relatable to viewers. She wasn’t the cookie-cutter version of a mother. She had flaws, meltdowns, and broke down from time to time.

When Claire wanted to introduce an old friend of hers to her family, she was mortified when her kids were out of control and her husband was wearing a fake mustache. When her friend left, Claire unraveled on her family. Phil tried defending himself but Claire shut him down with the ultimate burn, comparing him to Mario Kart’s Mario. The burn worked because Phil ripped off the mustache as soon as Claire left.

6/10 “I Couldn’t Be More Relaxed If I Was In A Coma”

There were times when Phil was a little too fond of Gloria. Although he loved his wife and would have never done something to jeopardize their relationship, it was easy for Phil to accidentally flirt with her or stare at her (like when they were on vacation by the pool).

While Phil’s comments didn’t bother Claire, it was annoying when everyone raved about Gloria. In one scene, Phil wanted to comfort his wife and told her she had nothing to worry about when it came to him and Gloria. Hilariously, Claire knew Phil would never hurt their family and told him she couldn’t have been more relaxed than if she was in a “coma.” This was an epic burn because if Phil wanted to make Claire jealous, he’d have to try harder.

5/10 “No Honey She Said You Couldn’t A-D-D Because She Also Knew You Couldn’t S-P-E-L-L.”

Haley Dunphy transformed over the years, but it took her a while to become an organized, mature adult. When it came time for Haley to apply to college, she had to answer an essay question that asked her about adversity that she faced growing up.

Haley wasn’t sure what to write because she lived a cushy life. She asked her mom, “Did my 3rd grade teacher say I have ADD or something?” Claire shot Haley down and burned her by letting her know that her teacher spelled out words around her because she knew Haley couldn’t spell. Funny enough, it took Haley a minute to understand the words her mom spelled to her.

4/10 “Our Son Is Not Weird. What’s Weird Is That Her Kid Wears Aftershave And Dresses As A Count.”

When Gloria and Jay first got married, it took the extended family some time to get used to the new dynamic. Gloria was far younger than Jay and had a fun-loving son who was far too mature for his age.

Claire, especially, didn’t trust Gloria because she thought she was a “gold digger.” Claire did some horrible things to Gloria at the beginning, which included endless burns at Gloria’s expense. After Luke and Manny got into a fight at school, Claire vented to Phil in the car about some of the things Gloria said at the principal’s office. Claire defended her son when she compared Manny to a count and joked about his aftershave. Thankfully Manny wasn’t around because it would have been hard to come back from that burn.

3/10 “What, Are You Going To The Ball Cinderella? Live A Little.”

In season 2, Claire wanted to make a point to her family that she wasn’t always the “bad cop.” She could be the fun parent like Phil too. To prove this, she dragged Manny and Luke with her to do “fun” activities.

The only problem was that the kids were forced and didn’t want to do the things Claire wanted to do. While at the snack-stand, she encouraged the boys to order whatever they wanted, but when Manny ordered skinless chicken breast, Claire called him “Cinderella” and encouraged him to “live a little.” It’s safe to say that this burn caught Manny off guard.

2/10 “The Only Person That Costume Scares Is Me.”

Moderen Family had some funny Halloween episodes, primarily because of Claire’s obsession for the spooky holiday. As always, Claire wasn’t fond of Haley’s Halloween costume when she came downstairs dressed as a black cat.

Although Haley called herself a “Scary black cat,” Claire shut down her train of thought quickly when she warned her the only person that outfit would scare was her. She then encouraged her daughter to change before lewd comments came her way.

1/10 “Sweetheart, I Would Love To Be Wrong. I Just Don’t Live With The Right People For That.”

Another toxic moment of Claire’s was when she refused to admit that she was wrong. Instead of being coy about the number of times she was right, Claire outwardly said it.

Even with three kids, Claire didn’t allow her kids to be right if she knew there was a better way. In one scene, she told them she’d “love” being wrong for once but it was impossible to be wrong when she was surrounded by the likes of Phil, Haley, Alex, and Luke. That was the thing about Claire’s insults, they were blunt and short.

NEXT: 10 Times Claire Was Toxic On Modern Family